Nightmares

I had another nightmare last night. In 20 years of living, I can only recall having a handful of nightmares my entire life. In the last month, I can recall at least five, all about the same person or people. They are unlike any other dreams I have too, because they actually make sense, feel legitimate, are set in realistic environments and have even more realistic events. This is probably the most painful thing I can ever remember dealing with. These are how I remember them (names changed to protect the innocent).

Nightmare #1 (Beginning of April):

April had just broken up with her boyfriend, again, and was stranded without a ride home so I came and picked her up. She was completely distraught and hurt and there wasn't really anything I can do (which is hard for me, I always want to help people). It was a single lane highway and we were about to go around a bend (it was late and thus dark) and I was distracted by something, I might have been changing something on my iPod, and swerved into the other lane. An oncoming car honked and I noticed at the last second and swerved back violently and the car flipped a few times and stopped upside down after hitting an electrical pole in the ditch. I was banged up quite a bit but I was alright, I got out and crawled around to the other side and April was still strapped in unconscious. I unbuckled her seatbelt and she fell hard and I pulled her out and called 911. The next part I remember was being in the hospital and finding out that she had broken her neck and was in a coma and it was all my fault.

Nightmare #2 (Three Days Later):

I had gotten involved borrowing money from some bad people in a city somewhere (think mafia or loan sharks or whatever), and I didn't have the money and was always hiding and on the run. These guys found out that I cared about April more than anyone else in the world, and they got to her to try and teach me a lesson. They brought me to some warehouse where they had her tied in a chair, and they proceeded to break and skin every single one of her fingers, one at a time while I watched, once again knowing that I had caused this.

Nightmare #3 (2-3 weeks ago):

April was only 17 years old in this dream, and we weren't very close friends but I still cared a lot about her. She wasn't a very good person though, and she knew how I cared and tried taking advantage of it. She tried sweet talking and manipulating me so she could get me to buy her cigarettes and alcohol and I very nearly completely fell for it. This might not seem so bad of a dream, but someone I care a lot about was, for a little while, a terrible person, and didn't care one ounce about me but tried taking advantage of me. This was probably the worst nightmare I've had really.

Nightmare #4 (Last night):

Thank God this one is somewhat vague in my mind. All I remember for sure is that April and Kristina (another girl I care a lot about and have had feelings for) had both recently had their relationships end, and they both blamed me for it. They hated me because of that, and wanted to make me hurt. In order to accomplish that, they started having impure sexual relationships with the other's ex right in front of me, for the sole purpose of spiting me and making me hurt. I was sitting there screaming and balling and completely broken and they were both so absolutely happy because of it.

I'm so thankful that I can't remember parts about certain dreams, and some I can't remember much at all (there have been more nightmares).