Letters to Friends Series: Part 1

We met my Junior year of high school. I don't even remember how exactly, but between track meets, mutual friends, Shelby's prom, and any other medium in which our schools crossed paths, it wasn't long until we were friends.

There was always something about you, the way you carried yourself I guess, that I really liked, and I think you liked something about me too. In fact I know you did, because we talked about it! I remember how you told me that I inspired you not to drink or to live your life the way everyone else did. I wish I knew back then what I know now, and I wish that I would have said more to you. I wish that I could have saved you from that life, because you are worth so much more than you could ever believe, and you are so much better than this. I feel like it's my fault, like I could have done so much more for you and I probably could have, but I was selfish and I was also young and foolish.

I have to be honest, I really liked you. I could not wait until track meets every week to get to talk to you, and being on the same post prom team was pretty freaking awesome for me. Back then, you legitimately cared and had no problem being around me. I don't know what changed, maybe my self confidence, or lack thereof, or our lifestyles growing more and more apart, but I hate the mask you put on the rare times I run into you. You really make me believe that you are so glad to see me and that you would love nothing more than to hang out, but through a medium where you can easily ignore me, such as texting or Facebook, you clearly would rather not converse. I can understand that, really I can, that's not what's so hard. The hard part is the bittersweet feeling in my stomach every time I do see you.

You still have a special spot in my heart. I don't really know why, we've only talked on a number of occasions over the last several years, you live your life in a way I could never live, and as I stated above, I really don't think you care much. Despite all that, I am so happy anytime I get to see you, and at the same time my heart breaks to see you.

This is what I want to say. Your life is more valuable than gold. We've talked about God before, and it's not like you don't believe, but you have to see that your lifestyle (and thus your heart) is not devoted to Jesus, it's devoted to the world. I would do anything to break you free from that slavery, and the way it deceives you into thinking you are living life to the fullest, but that path will only lead you to death. I want so badly to show you the meaning of your heart, and how you can change the world. Maybe you'll read this someday and it will mean something to you, or maybe it won't, but I just want you to know that I love you, and so does Jesus, and both of us have shed tears at seeing how the world is sucking you down.